The Coat Closet: Part 1

You roll over and kiss his cheek, as he lays in a slumber dreaming of the lives both your hearts have created
You run your fingers through your hair, glance at yourself in the mirror for any reassurance that you can find for what your about to do
you take a deep gulp and try you to ignore the pre-regret that is flooding your heart
You open the closet and grab your coat
and on the empty hanger you place your love, your love for him
no need to bring it with you, you won’t be needing it tonight
you lock the door behind you to keep him safe and make your way out into the unknown
are you excited? or are you nervous? the voices in your head are screaming so many different things…how can you make since of it all?
you arrive at the bar and order a drink
you lock eyes with someone across the way
a mystery, a stranger, your friend for tonight
your conversation with him reminds you of the beginning of your relationship with the partner you left at home
it was flirty, it was exciting, but this conversation was empty
you shovel back several drinks of liquid courage and make your move
you both stumble back to a foreign room and pretend that you have known each other for ages
minutes go by and it’s over, it’s done
And just like that, you opened the dark pages of infidelity and you placed it in the same book that you and the love of your life had written together
you placed a chapter in the book and he knew nothing about it
you lay there in this strange dark room next to a dark silhouette and look up towards the ceiling and realize the grass wasn’t greener on the other side
you then grab your things and make your way home
you open the door, hang your coat, and drunkingly drop the love you have for him on the floor, it shatters into tiny pieces all over the cold tiles
you grab as many pieces as you can, (leaving most behind) and try your best to put them back together
you jump back into the bed full of dreams with less love than you left with
and you whisper to him, “I love you…”
but it was never the same.

“you can’t blame someone for leaving when you gave them nothing to hold on to.” -unknown

❤ Justin

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